Swiffer Way

      Comments Off on Swiffer Way

Swiffer Way is a street in unincorporated Hub in a hyper-neighborhood complex known as the Dondarrells (link to a map). Swiffer Way has the distinction of featuring 2 unincorporated industrial hotspots, the four blocks from 0-3 and the 7 blocks from 61-67.

Swiffer Way 0-3 is one of hub’s few industrial monocultures – all the businesses in the area are direct competitors performing the same function. This is a very unusual arrangement on Hub. This area also has the distinction of exhibiting slum doom (i.e. if this were anywhere other than unincorporated Hub it would slum instantly) because of the persistent negative growth. Yet these businesses apparently continue to operate and have done so for all known time. The highest rated business in the area is at less than two stars. Highest rated is 1.81 stars. All the businesses are purportedly dedicated to cleaning laundry.  Not a single one of them actually performs this service in any meaningful way. (A breakdown of each business and all things known – advertisements, fortune cookie scripts, etc.)

Perhaps the most notable feature of the 0-3 block is not the abysmal failed but continual laundry businesses, but 17 Swiffer Way which is not a business.

17 Swiffer Way is a residential Hub style house in the Ordovorian architectural style. It is 2 stories with a street facing door. It features 2 banks of top floor windows, always closed, blinds drawn. No one has ever managed to open the door. The door remains locked at all times. According to the business owners, a recluse lives at 17 Swiffer Way. It is dangerous to obtain information about the resident. Store owners after casually mentioning the resident of their own accord (the only circumstances the resident is ever mentioned) if pursued with subsequent inquiries result in denials that quickly escalate to violence. Store owners will first deny there is such a person. They will then demand to know where you heard such a thing. If accused of supplying the information themselves they will grow vehement in their denial. If pressed they will become violent.

A conspiraswat team lead by RedFireDog on (date) comprising six members armed with techra blasters just barely survived an altercation with Widow Malone at 22 Swiffer Way. BlueJaySong lost both of her legs in the escape and subsequently contracted a mystery illness that could not be diagnosed by Hubspital Central. Investigators equipped with toughness detectors (toughamax 12 obtainable only from newbies and losers – no longer available except by auction) reported that store owners in the area when looked at always registered as green, minimum threat. The threat indicator does not change even when store owners become violent.

RunicSara reported on (date) that she actually encountered the man at 17 swiffer way sweeping his doorstep. 

(Image of text on a compoint) “OMG am at 17 swiffer way talking to the man. He is sweeping. Pics:” user out of range.

She was never seen again. (link to her tribute page)

There are no other alleged sightings in the corpus.

General observed properties of shop owners. The shop owners of the 0-3 block appear to be transiently co-opted persons (link). That’s a person who appears to have full person function under some circumstances but not others. Every single one of the shop keepers on Swiffer Way has had multiple confirmed encounters at other locations – going to the gigaplex to see a movie, shopping at the store. One was even encountered buying supplies for his store. Under external circumstances they behaved as normal people, and seemed confused and afraid when asked about the resident. Not violent. But paranoid and insistent to terminate the encounter.

On *119821093581, PerspexCindy & PingPongPanda reported an independently verified sighting of Wendell of Wendell’s Washing (23 Swiffer Way) and the Mysterious Gunslinger at the Retromart. They were unable to overhear the discussion, but observed Wendell to become increasingly tense and submissive. When the two separated, Wendell fled the Retromart at top speed, careening into several Type 58s in his rush to reach the nearest T-Booth. The Mysterious Gunslinger was not observed leaving.

Related Entries